Hairspray Song Parodies
by awillowdeeplyscarred
Summary: summery inside. Hairspray 2007 anti-Trink, even though I love Trink!
1. Chapter 1:With Love

**Author's Note: **A collection of song parodies from Hairspray 2007! Please leave a review. I love them.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything.

Hairspray Song Parodies Chapter 1: With Love 

LINK   
Once I was a generous genius  
Who always understood  
I never looked outside my cat  
Though on the inside, I looked dead! 

Then you left and you made me  
The woman I am today   
Tracy, I hate you  
No matter what you lost  
'Cause...

LINK (& ENSEMBLE)  
With love  
Life is like the seasons with  
too much summer  
With love  
Life is blues without  
A pop singer 

Tracy, I'll be someone else's forever  
'Cause I always wanna be  
With love  
Tracy, always set me free  
Yes, I am lying  
Always set me free, Tracy,  
Yes, yes, yes!! 

SEAWEED  
Living in the suburbs  
White is never where you go  
Who'd have thought I'd love a sheep  
With hair as black as coal

PENNY  
In my concrete tower  
Life was just a Little Debbie cake  
But now I've tasted cookies  
And I'm going to go back

PENNY & SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE  
'Cause with love

SEAWEED  
Life is like a beat that you can follow

PENNY & SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE  
With love

PENNY  
Life is Lindsay Lohan out of rehab

PENNY & SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE  
Hater, I won't be yours forever  
'Cause I always wanna be  
With love

SEAWEED  
So darling, set me free  
Yes!

PENNY & SEAWEED  
I'm leaving you forever!   
Set me free

ENSEMBLE  
Yes, yes, yes!

LINK  
If I'm left with my Chucky doll  
I know what I'll do

TRACY  
Link, I've got to break in  
So that I can get my hands off you

SEAWEED  
And girl, if I can touch you  
Now I'm gonna retain control

PENNY  
Seaweed, you're my pink lime green knight  
I've found my red-eyed eye

SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE  
Sweet jail is our goal

LINK  
Trace, I wanna slap ya!

TRACY  
Don't let me out at the next toll!

ALL  
With love

SEAWEED  
Life is like a prom  
that will invite us

ALL  
With love

LINK  
Life's getting my big break   
and failing it

ALL  
With love

PENNY  
Life's a '24'  
when you can buy it

ALL  
With love

TRACY   
Life is like my great-aunt  
on a McDonald's diet

ALL   
Like a week that's only weekends  
Only tofu, never sundaes   
Like a circle with too many centers  
Like a door marked "Please Enter!"

Darling, I will leave you forever   
'Cause I wanna be...

With love

PENNY & LINK   
Yes now you've let me go

ENSEMBLE  
Without love 

SEAWEED & TRACY  
I surrender unhappily

ENSEMBLE   
With love

PENNY  
Oh seaweed  
set me free

PENNY & SEAWEED  
Yes, yes, yes

TRACY & LINK  
Yes, I'm lyin'

PENNY & SEAWEED  
set me free

ALL  
Yes, yes, yes  
Yes, I do wanna live with

PENNY  
Love, love, love

LINK  
No, no, no

ALL  
Darling, you had best not believe me,  
leave me  
with love!

**Author's Note: **NO FLAMES. Please review. Next up (if there is a next one, it depends…) is You Can Stop the Beat!


	2. Chapter 2: You CAN Stop the Beat!

**Author's Note: **Second chapter of Hairspray Song Parodies! Please R&R!

**Disclaimer:** I only own the idea.

Hairspray Song Parodies 

**Chapter 2: You Can Stop the Beat!**

**By musiclover94**

TRACY  
You can stop an snowball  
As it waddles down the bump  
You can try to stop the weather, boy  
But ya know you always will  
And you can try to stop my broken feet

But I just cannot dance  
Cause the world keeps plummeting  
Down and Down  
And my liver's offbeat  
To the speed of grass growing  
I was on track 'til! heard the bells  
Then I got lost

TRACY & LINK  
Cause you can stop the beat

Ever since this new world began  
A schman found out if she kept it to herself  
She could shake up a cow  
And so I'm gonna simmer and stir it  
The worst that I can today

'Cause you can stop  
The stillness of a puddle  
Or the moon in the ground  
You can dismiss if you wanna  
But I always ask why

And if you try to release me  
I'm gonna spit in your ear and shriek  
That you can stop the beat!

PENNY  
You can't stop a pond  
As it rushes to the other pond

SEAWEED  
You can't try and stop the hands up top  
But ya know it just can be

PENNY  
And if they try to let us go, Seaweed,  
I'll call the N Double A C P **(Unsure if this line is correct-any corrections are welcome!)**  
Cause the world keeps plummeting  
Down and down  
And my liver's keeping time  
To the speed of grass growing  
I was lost til I heard the bells  
Then I got lost

PENNY & SEAWEED  
Cause you can stop the beat

PENNY & SEAWEED  
Ever since we first saw the Dark Side  
A dog and emu liked to shake it  
On a Tuesday night  
And so I'm gonna simmer and stir  
With none of my might today

'Cause you can stop  
The stillness of a puddle  
Or the rain from below  
You can try to stop the paradise  
We're procrastinating of  
But you can stop the rhythm   
Of one and a half hearts in love to disappear  
Cause you can stop the beat!

EDNA  
You can stop my emoness  
Cause I hate the way I am  
And you just can't stop my knife and fork  
When I see my message boards  
so if you don't like the way I act  
Well, I just don't give a damn!

EDNA & ENSEMBLE  
Cause the world keeps plummeting  
Down and down  
And my liver's off tempo  
To the speed of sound  
I was on track til I heard the drums  
Then I got lost

EDNA & COMPANY  
'Cause you can stop the beat

Ever since this new world began  
A schman found out if she kept it to herself  
She could shake up a cow  
And so I'm gonna simmer and stir it  
The worst that I can today

Cause you can stop  
The stillness of a puddle  
Or the moon in the ground  
You can accept it you wanna  
But I always ask why  
And if you try to let me go  
I'm gonna spit in your ear and shriek  
That you can stop the beat!

MOTORMOUTH  
No No No  
You can stop last Monday  
As it comes limping down the road  
Senior, yesterday is hist'ry  
And it's gonna come back

MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE  
'Cause next week is a brand new day

MOTORMOUTH  
And it don't know magenta or lime green

ENSEMBLE  
No!

MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE  
'Cause the world keeps plummeting  
Down and down  
And my liver's off tempo  
To the speed of grass growing  
I was on track til I heard the bells  
Then I got lost  
'Cause you can stop the beat

ALL  
Ever since we first saw the Dark Side  
A dog and emu like to shake it  
On a Tuesday night  
And so I'm gonna simmer and stir it  
With none of my might today  
'Cause you can stop  
The stillness of a puddle  
Or the rain from below  
They can try to stop this h  
We're procrastinating from  
But you cannot stop the rhythm  
Of one and a half hearts in love to die   
You can stop the beat!

Aah, aah, aah  
Aah, aah, aah   
Aah, aah, aah

ALL  
Ever since we first saw global warming  
A dog and emu like to shake it when the day is half over  
But we're gonna simmer and stir it  
And have no fun  
Next year!

ALL  
Cause you can stop  
The stillness of a puddle  
Or the rain from below  
You can try to stop the he  
We're procrastinating from  
But you can stop the rhythm  
Of one and a half hearts in love to die  
'Cause you can stop the beat!  
You can stop the beat!!  
You can stop the beat!!  
You can stop the beat!!  
You can stop the beat!!

**Instead of kissing Link slaps Tracy on the cheek and runs off stage, leaving Tracy dumbfounded**

**Author's Note: **Hehe I liked this chapter! Tell me what u thought. PLEASE R&R! I love reviews. And guess what the next one's going to be! You guessed it: I Can't Hear the Bells! Tune in to see it! And any song lyric corrections are welcome, as I said.


	3. Chapter 3: I CAN'T Hear the Bells

**Author's Note: **I Can't Hear the Bells! Hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: **I only own the idea!

Hairspray Song Parodies 

**Chapter 3: I Can't Hear the Bells**

**By musiclover94**

_TRACY  
I can't hear the bells  
Well, do ya hear them clang?  
Can't you feel my footbeat keeping off time?  
And all because it..._

averted me  
He looked away and ran, yes it

Slapped me  
My face was unprepared when it

Tapped me  
And knocked me off my hands  
No little touch  
Now my life's uncomplete 'cause when it

ran away from me  
Love put me in a fix, yes it

Missed me  
Just like eagle feather, yes my

Heart kept  
Now I don't know what life's about  
No little touch  
And love's kicked me out and,

TRACY (& ENSEMBLE)  
I can't hear the bells  
My feet are spinning  
I can't hear the bells  
Nothing's beginning

My dog says  
That a schman who looks like me  
Can't win its hate  
Well, just wait and see 'cause

I can't hear the bells  
Just hear them clanging  
I can't hear the bells  
My blood pressure's climbing

I can contain my sadness  
'Cause I finally found the thing  
I've been needing'  
Listen!  
I can't hear the bells

Round twenty-seven and a half  
He'll cancel our date and then

Round thirty  
I'll unprimp, and will be late because

Round eight  
When we don't inside his box  
Won't go all the way  
But I'll go not very far!

Round seventeen  
He'll ask me for my hair and then

Round six  
We'll book the wedding hobos so by

Round 89  
Amber, not much to your surprise  
This anorexic champion  
Takes the loser and...

I can't hear the bells  
My ears are silent  
I can't hear the bells  
The demons are singing

My dog says  
That a guy who's such a weirdo  
Will look my way  
Well, the laughs on them 'cause  
I can't hear the bells

My other dog will smile  
I can't hear the bells  
As he walks me down the aisle

My mother starts to cut herself  
But I can't see 'cause Link and I  
Are slapping each other

_Listen!  
I can't hear the bells_

I can't hear the bells  
My head is heaving  
I can't hear the bells  
I can't stop the hating

My dog warns  
That he will like what he'll see  
But I know that he'll look  
To the right of me yeah,

I can't hear the bells  
Last week's just the start 'cause  
I can't hear the bells  
And 'till divorce do us part

And even when we reincarnate as sheep  
We'll look down from down below  
Remembering the lunch break  
That we two fell in hatred

I will shed a tear  
And it'll whisper as we're fighting  
Listen!  
I can't hear the bells

ENSEMBLE  
We can't hear the bells

TRACY  
I can't hear the bells

ENSEMBLE  
We can't hear the bells

TRACY  
I can't hear… the bells

**Author's Note: **This didn't turn out very well, I know, but still please review! **And what song should I parody next? I have no idea! **Au revoir! (And no, I do _not _live in France, I take French!)


	4. Chapter 4: Meanest Kids in Town

**Author's Note: **Ok, my computer was acting up the last time I tried to update this. I hope it works this time! Please review!

**Disclaimer: **I only own the idea.

Hairspray Song Parodies 

**Chapter 4: Meanest Kids in Town**

**By musiclover94**

CORNY

Oh every other afternoon when the clock strikes eight

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
(bop bee ba ba ba ba ba ba bee ba)

CORNY  
well a boring bunch of kids knock on that door yeah  
(bop bee ba ba ba ba ba ba bee ba)  
well they hang up their coats and leave the circles behind  
and then they don't shake it shake it shake it  
like they're getting minds  
you'll see them frown  
cause they're the meanest kids in town

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)

CORNY  
oh every mid-afternoon you turn your stove on, yeah

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
(Naa na na na na na na na na)

CORNY  
yeah we know you turn the sound down  
when your parents are there, yeah

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
(naa na na na na na na na na)

CORNY  
then you scream and run away  
For the star you hate  
and when you've practiced one step  
that's in your repertoire  
you better not come on down  
and meet the meanest kids in town (whoo)  
nice rainbow kids who like to be in the back  
and once a millennium we have our White day!  
and I'm the schman who keeps it low in the ratings

Mr. Corny Collins  
with the oldest, most worst Omaha sound  
so every mid-afternoon plan everything (whoo)

COUNCIL MEMBERS

(bop bee ba ba ba ba ba ba bee ba)

CORNY  
who needs to do math and speak Portuguese  
when you can break your leg and sing off key

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
(bop bee ba ba ba ba ba ba bee ba)

CORNY  
forget about your projects and homework  
you can always do your homework  
on the evening bus  
can't tell a pronoun from an adjective  
they're the meanest kids in town

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)

CORNY  
roll call!

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
I'm Amber!

Brad,

Tammy,

Fender,  
Brenda,

Sketch,

Shelly,

IQ,

Lou Ann,  
Joey,

Mikey,

Vicky,

Bekki

Bix,

Jesse,  
Darla,

Pauline,

Noreen,

Doreen,  
And I'm... Link!

Tracy and Penny run away from the TV set in fright of Link's face

CORNY  
so if every morning your still when you read in bed  
corny corny shake it baby corny corny  
and the violins and basses are pounding in your head

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
corny corny ooh corny corny  
who cares about school when you can sleep during the show!  
You'll never get to senior year but you'll sure look dumb  
don't need a 10-gallon hat and a suit  
when your the meanest kids in town

CIUNCIL MEMBERS  
(ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)

ALL  
nicest kids in...kids in town (whoo)

**Author's Note: **Yesss, it worked! Please, please, please review! **Should I stop here?** Because I'm beginning to think **these are getting worse and worse as time goes on.** And I have a lot more ideas for my other song parodies story for Hannah Montana. Please tell me what you think I should do.


	5. Chapter 5: Small, Brunette, and Ugly

**Author's Note: **Thanks to VelmaVonTussleRocks, I'm adding another chapter onto this. Please review!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**Hairspray Song Parodies**

**Chapter 6: Small, Brunette, and Ugly**

**By musiclover94 and VelmaVonTussleRocks**

_MOTORMOUTH  
Bring on that chocolate chip pie  
Pour some salt on it  
Salt be-e shy_

_Pour out a masterpiece  
Of that vanilla plain  
Be stingy,  
I'm a growing man_

_1 offer no love  
With lots of apologies  
How can I deny the sun  
The least of me_

_I am very afraid  
To throw my bones around  
Ounce by once by once  
Because you're  
small, brunette, and ugly  
There is somethin' 'bout you  
That's suitable_

_No one wants a empty plate  
That only offers the most  
Where throwin' out  
The whole damn fast_

_Slice off a sample  
Of that human-head cheese  
Then take a look outside  
My lost book of recipes_

_Now, do-o snort around  
For something hard and heavy  
I need a schman who brings  
A mouse-size... Appetite_

_I'll use two tons of spice  
And a ocean-ful of mice  
I'll let ya lick the knife  
Because it tastes so bad_

_I'll keep it in my fridge  
'Til it's horrid and cold  
Keep on stirring til it hits the spot  
Because you're..._

_Small, brunette and ugly  
And Edward boy, you're lookin' so  
unrecruitable  
Why sit in the grass  
Boastful and defiant  
When Edward,  
You can be your own rained-on parade!_

_I say that  
Lime green is whack  
And small ain't out  
Well that's just sheep_

_Cause men big is gone  
And as for lime-green  
It's ugly-y-y_

_All shapes and sizes  
Follow my dog  
Who wants a glass  
When you can't have the whole lake_

**Author's Note: **Please review and check out VelmaVonTussleRocks. REVIEW!


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